I've slipped into somewhat of a food depression which has resulted in me throwing my hands uo and saying "well this is fucked, you'll never be happy again". A similar feeling to when I finished Mass Effect 3 but I digress.
So I ate half a pound of bacon for breakfast hoping my newfound belief that animal fat wards off hunger was correct. And it was, for the most part. Also my newfound impending stroke I'm sure.
I'm noticing zero changes to my body. I'm as stuffed up as ever and my food gut remains even though I've been off literally all food that is delicious for 4 days. I would have hoped I would have begun to notice anything at all.
I was supposed to go to drinks and food with some people from work to a pub and as I was looking over the menu I realized "wow, pub fare is comprised of everything I love and is delicious". There was literally nothing I could eat that wasn't fried or battered or had some sort of dairy. Even the sweet potato fries were fried and seemed to be lightly battered. It was a pretty low moment when all the foods I love (including beer) are things I can't eat.
On the other hand my uncontrollable rage has subsided. It's now festered into an ongoing annoyed feeling that works alongside my ongoing hunger. I'm no longer starving all the time, but rather low levels of constant peckishness and the cravings are here. All I wanted was chicken wings or garlic cheese bread or some sort of creamy Thai dressing.
I had my boring old lettuce and salad and I kid you not I felt like I had to choke it down. I hate the fact I now put off eating much longer than I should just to delay the inevitable.
I went to the grocery store and finally got canned coconut milk which I'll make a smoothie out of. I'm just realizing as I'm typing this I have no portable container for it. Good lord. I took out some strawberries from the freezer and made some hamburger and put it on some greens. Very boring but whatever at least it's not chicken!
I had another spoon of peanut butter. I have no idea why I never did this before. Eating peanut butter off a spoon is amazing. I forgot how amazing it is. Let me talk abut peanut butter some more I'm sure that's why you're here.
I also have some avacados I picked up that are borderline too ripe, almost overripe soon. I have no idea how to eat an avocado without making guacamole or smearing it haphazard all overy my hands and everywhere on my countertop. I tried to just eat it with a fork but the texture is too gross I can't do it. I'm a big texture person so things that are too rubbery or slippery I normally don't like. You can imagine how I feel about playing dodge ball in the rain!
Since Monday I've fluxuated in weight about a pound or a half a pound. Currently sitting at 125.2 compared to the gigantic 125.8 yesterday. Hey at least I'm now headed downwards. I was beginning to think that eating nothing was making me fat and eating cake and pizza all day was the secret to keeping me thin. You should try it.
Other than that I'm noticing no physical differences aside from my anger and frustration which will soon manifest itself into some sort of poltergeist that instead of torturing me or driving me out of my condo, she floats above my bed earing fucking a ham sandwich and cackling spewing crumbs all over my duvet. I can't escape and I have to watch her eat a bunch of chips ahoy before she let's me escape the sweet pain I am in.