Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Tuesday - I cheated and paid dearly. #Paleo Stories

There are so many words that come to mind that can describe my experience on Tuesday.

Here are some:

  • ·         Ironic
  • ·         Retribution
  • ·         'Pay back'
  • ·         Comeuppance
  • ·         Compensation
  • ·         Punishment
  • ·         Reckoning
  • ·         Reprisal
  • ·         Retaliation
  • ·         Revenge
  • ·         Vengeance
  • ·         Repayment
  • ·         Avengement
  • ·         Just desserts

(You're just going to have to deal with the double bullets because I have no patience to delete them all by hand and start again.)

To preface - I have no idea if this is a direct correlation TO cheating, or a sick twisted coincidence.

Like I said I was exhausted from Mon because of the stress of my car stuff and just leftover from the weekend and I didn’t sleep amazing. I was tired. All I wanted was a Tim Horton’s tea with milk. I thought, “there is no way a teaspoon of milk will do anything – I don’t even feel any different so what’s the point!?”.

Then there I was in line ordering the tea (with milk) when I saw my old manager in line behind me who reads this blog (hi John). I think I said something like “don’t tell anyone”. I went back to my desk and drank maybe half the tea (was a Medium) because I got busy and it got cold and I forgot about it. I felt pretty good about it and thought I could maybe start introducing dairy slowly back in.

Fast forward to lunch as because I am me, I am starving.

As I mentioned, because I didn’t make lunch this week I needed to buy lunch. My team wanted to go to this place I’ve been before called Sandwich Box (You can google health violations in any place here) where I couldn’t eat bread or cheese but instead got what I refer to as a green salad.

Here were the contents of said salad:
  • ·         Pieces of tuna fillet (not canned)
  • ·         Cucumbers
  • ·         Chick peas
  • ·         Green beans
  • ·         Peas
  • ·         Avocado
  • ·         Kale
  • ·         Cherry tomatoes
  • ·         Pumpkin seeds
  • ·         Balsamic vinaigrette


Came back to the office around 12:45-1pm. This salad was pretty large, and I was eating it for like 30m.

Around 1:45pm I started to feel weird. You know that feeling where you raise your head from what you’re doing and stare into space and think “wait, do I feel good?” I couldn’t decide if I was just having indigestion or if I was feeling quasi-nauseous.

Well at 2pm I figured out that, yes, I was in fact feeling 100% nauseous, and had this weird pain in my stomach like my guts hurt, or were twisted or something strange. It wasn’t just the feeling like I may throw up, but actual stomach pain which made it even more unbearable. I sat at my desk for about 10 minutes until I thought “Oh my god, I think I may actually throw up.”

I went to the bathroom, and sadly there are no ‘lounge’ areas in this bathroom (normally there is a couch or a chair in the ‘bathroom foyer’ that has a door to the stalls. So I went into the handicap stall and just sat there for a few minutes so I could rest my head in my hands without everyone asking me what’s wrong.

I’m in there for now for about 15 minutes, getting worse to the power every minute. I felt like I had to throw up but I couldn’t. So I was sweating and pale and looked like I was a vampire that stepped out of the Maid of the Mist ride. At this point I knew something was not right. I couldn’t hide in the bathroom anymore, because people were coming in and out of the bathroom thinking they were alone and let me tell you, women that think they’re alone in the bathroom is a whole story in itself. I heard things I shouldn’t have heard.

I went back to my desk, and told my team I felt ill, I took a Gravol from someone and was going to wait it out at my desk. Meanwhile this whole time I couldn’t move very well because every time I moved I thought I would throw up. And the pain in my gut was getting progressively worse. All I wanted to do was lie on the floor or lay somewhere.

Then I overheard someone talking about food, and my manager looked at me and asked if I was ok, and I said “nope” and I had to semi-run/briskly walk to the bathroom where I barely made it before what I can only describe as foaming green algae came right out of my mouth. Everything was green. It was gross. I’m sorry I am even telling you this. I didn’t even have time to close the stall that’s how close it was. I physically had to have my hand over my mouth while I walked into the bathroom. It was like the scene in ‘Stand By Me’ but just me.

Anyway I went home at 3, got home about 3:45pm and passed out until after 6pm. I felt much better but still groggy and unsettled.

I have no idea what happened, it was only once, and it never came back. Was it the milk? Was I being punished or cheating? I have no idea. Was it the fact I had so many green items in my salad? I don’t even know.

Anyway I won’t be cheating again until I’m alone at home with a bucket just in case.